Dr Veronica is a wonderful host and this interview was extra special… We talked about weight loss, Bach Flowers, weight loss and so much more.  See what you think!

For many of us, negative messages were what we heard most as children. If we failed to do our chores for example, most likely we heard about it. Seldom however did one of our parents complement us for doing our chores. If we were doing what was expected, it was usually taken for granted. Our parents may not have thought to compliment us or they may not have had the energy. Only when we didn’t behave perfectly was our behavior commented on because our parents had an interest in having us change it.

For some of us, our parents may have focused on the negative to the exclusion of the positive. Did you ever, for example, bring home a report card with several high grades and one low one? Did your parents react to the positive ones or did they ask why the low grade? If they questioned the low grade, chances are they were raised the same way that they raised you. You may have learned, by receiving this negative attention, to treat yourself in the same harsh way. When you make a mistake, for example, do you “beat yourself up” for doing so? How often do you stop to praise yourself when you have done something well? It is a mighty task to feel good about ourselves following a childhood fraught with negative messages.

Do you continue giving yourself these old negative messages today? If you try to lose weight without learning to appreciate yourself, you will fail again and again. Self-acceptance and self-love are absolutely essential.

As adults, if we feel “better” eating chocolate when we are upset. It doesn’t take long for eating chocolate to become an automatic response when we want to feel better – and who doesn’t want to feel better at times? If we eat snacks at night in front of our television sets, again, it becomes a thoughtless habit. Another common time when one is likely to eat automatically is while driving. People in transit sometimes eat and eat and eat as they have been driving along. The snacking has become so automatic that it is virtually unnoticed. For most of us, food is readily accessible and easy to grab, especially fast foods and junk foods. Unhealthy food behaviors are easy to develop and impossible to change unless we are aware of them. How often do you “automatically” stop by the candy machine at work? How often do you eat and later feel surprised to notice you had eaten so much? How often do you engage in conversation with a dinner partner and finish your meal without having been aware of your food or the experience of eating? What are some of your patterns of automatic eating? Possibly you have been eating a great deal of food in this “robotic” way, barely noticing that you have been putting it into your mouth. Be assured, however, that although you may not be noticing what you are doing, your body is noticing, the calories are adding up, and your Chew is as happy as can be.

• Get colorful. Experiment with color in your foods, home and your wardrobe.

Keep a big bowl of fresh fruits and vegetables on your kitchen counter. At this time of year there are plenty to choose from. Make your meals and snacks artistic and appealing with lively colors, a variety of textures and add sprinkles of chopped nuts and herbs for extra flavor.

• Use the Bach Flower Emotional Eating Support Kit to keep yourself in emotional balance (Cherry Plum for staying in control, Crabapple to help you appreciate your body and Chestnut Bud to assist you as you move forward to stop repeating old, self-destructive behaviors).

• Move your body in fun ways. It’s a great time to get outside, soak up vitamin D from the sunshine and have fun! Run, walk, play with the dog, or jump rope with the neighborhood kids. What’s important is that you move and breathe and laugh – three essentials for weight loss or maintenance.

• Surround yourself with beauty – fabulous flowers, inspiring music, scented candles. Wrap yourself in sensual pleasures and you are less likely to crave unhealthy junk foods that dull your senses and play havoc with your emotions.

• Reawaken your creativity. Get your paints, knitting needles, pen and journal or origami papers. Set aside time to play with these things, to be quiet and tune into yourself — your mind and your spirit.

warm wishes,

Dr. Denise

Being overweight is not simple and generally there are at least a few hidden, unconscious agendas behind the eating behavior. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and think for a few minutes about the advantages you get from being overweight. Then return to the present. Write those advantages down. Perhaps your weight provides the illusion of safety. For example it can keep you from taking the risk to be in a romantic relationhip or it gives you an excuse to stay home and hide.

Now note any other, more nurturing ways you can take care of yourself and your feelings and write these down. Next, choose one area where you would like to make a change. For example, if you have discovered that one advantage of overeating has been to numb feelings of grief, you might plan to talk with a friend about your loss. In this way, you allow your feelings to surface and find expression and you no longer need food to anesthetize yourself. You can do this exercise often as a way of checking in with yourself and changing your compulsive behavior.

It works!

My best,
Dr. Denise

Enjoy Spring!

If you think self-destructive thoughts such as “I really am fat. I need to lose these ugly pounds” you will feel bad and you will attract more” bad feeling” thoughts. Then you are likely to get stuck in a loop of negative thinking leading to negative behaviors, extra pounds, increased worries, stronger efforts to diet, more deprivation, discouragement, guilt, shame and fear of gaining more and more weight. This can lead to depression, increased anxiety and eventual apathy. You are likely then to submerge yourself in sugar and simple carbohydrates to shield yourself from these painful feelings for the few moments, hours or days of relief that you know these substances can and reliably will provide.

Going on a new diet plan is likely to leave you more frustrated, discouraged and depressed than before. You know that fad diets won’t work. They cause weight gain.

Make friends with yourself. Don’t expect to be perfect all the time. Stop, relax and really give yourself what you truly want and desire. Once you accept who you are and become gentle and non-judgmental with yourself, you will be able to achieve your ideal weight and vibrant health. Each of you must figure out precisely your own ways to soothe yourself during difficult times.

You can take advantage of the Bach emotional eating support kit which contains three powerful remedies to help you learn to appreciate your body (Crab Apple), remain in control of your eating (Cherry Plum) and to stop repeating your same overeating mistakes over and over again (Chestnut Bud). For more information about this extremely helpful resource, visit www.emotionaleatinghelp.org.

Pause, breathe and substitute positive thoughts to turn around negative thinking. As you courageously shift your perspective in this way, you move quickly towards the life of radiant health and balance that you have longed for. Pay close attention to your feelings. They represent your internal guidance system (which is never wrong). When you identify what you are feeling you will know what to do every minute. If you make yourself number one and heed the messages your feelings are delivering through this system (as consistently as possible) you will move closer and closer to meeting your goals.

Remember that this is your life and your body to do with as you wish. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing, thinking about or telling you. Emotionally eating and keeping yourself murky and drugged with unhealthy foods will never bring you the happiness that you deserve. To be happy, healthy and whole is up to you and the time is NOW!